I heaved my chest in exhaustion - I am so stressed and
everyone is driving me insane! There is only one me and
with three children, a husband, a myriad of animal companions, cleaning,
laundry, carpooling, building a business…blah, blah, blah…I could go on and on but you
get it.
Everyone has their own story. And let’s be honest. The
stress factors above are the easy part of the game. These are the aspects of
life in which you’re coasting compared to the underlying anxiety we feel about
the not-mentioned-in-polite-conversation issues, which are truly the bane of
our existence.
I’m referring to the deep resentment, fear, and
confusion felt as a result of hardship involving finances, illness,
relationships, parenting and so on. And this pressure and worry can easily
become a default state of being. We’ve become so used to it that we don’t even
know we are weighed down by deadlines, expectations, fear and worry which
slowly erode our body, mind, and spirit.
We believe that someone or something outside of
ourselves holds the key to our peace of mind. You see, there is a
generally accepted belief that our stress occurs because of other people and
circumstances.
Meaning, most of us think that our emotional state is
controlled by something outside of ourselves usually
other people’s behavior and circumstances:
*If
he would change his behavior, I would feel better.
*If
they would react differently, I would be happy.
*If
I had more fill-in-the-blank, I would finally find peace.
*If
I had less fill-in-the-blank, I wouldn’t be so anxious.
And that is the essence of the stress feedback loop
which holds us prisoner in an anxiety-riddled state of being. So, let me pull
back the curtain on that ferris wheel of misery and
I say this from my own personal experience with it unless
you choose a different perspective you are not getting off!
What I’ve discovered is that stress is a result of us
not living with a greater purpose; not being aligned with the innate intelligence or internal compass which will
always guide us in the best and highest direction if we would only
allow it.
To really understand this concept, it’s important to
know that there is more than one aspect of self. For simplification purposes,
there is:
*Innate
intelligence - Aspect of self which is eternal and
all-knowing.
*Ego - Aspect
of self which keeps us focused in physical reality.
The fly in the ointment comes in when the ego takes on
more than it was meant to handle. When the ego is overworking itself trying to figure everything out, control, manipulate, and coerce, it becomes the dreaded 'Negative
Ego'.
You can think of the negative ego as the monkey mind or
the heckler in your head, constantly harassing you with all that is wrong. When
that is the predominant voice speaking to you, you have fallen out of alignment
with your innate intelligence and are usually knee-deep in stress.
What are the qualities of being aligned with the
negative ego?
*You
feel dissatisfied, disinterested and without passion.
*You
hold onto grudges convinced you are a victim of other people’s behavior and/or
circumstance.
*You
take life personally as if everyone is out to get you.
*Life
feels chaotic and painful.
*No
matter how hard you work or what you do, you cannot find a way to feel the way
you want to feel.
The exit ramp for the negative feedback loop of
disempowerment is to practice quieting the negative ego by focusing on your purpose and realigning with the
innate intelligence within.
What are the qualities of being aligned with the divine
intelligence within?
*You
are at peace regardless of outer circumstances.
*You
are fully trusting the flow of life.
*Open
to what is coming your way.
*You
can participate in life without needing to control it.
*You
are fulfilled by less and not desperately craving more.
When you begin to practice this on a regular basis that is, find yourself in
the negative feedback loop, pivot to align with your innate intelligence, and
observe as your experience morphs into peace and ease you will see what I mean.
You begin to surf the waves of life more effortlessly,
rather than becoming trapped in the break and thrown around by the chaos and
confusion.
You will quickly become the master which we are all
designed to be. This is our destiny. No one is exempt from this divine right of
peace and joy. Just choose it.
