Friday, October 1, 2010

Emotional Intelligence

Harry Mills, Ph.D. & Mark Dombeck, Ph.D.

Emotional resilience requires that you work towards greater self-knowledge and self-control. It is important, for example, that you learn to identify how you react in emotional situations.

Becoming aware of how you react when stressed helps you gain better control over those reactions. A good framework to help guide you towards becoming more aware of your emotions is something called Emotional Intelligence.

The term 'Emotional Intelligence' was coined by psychologists John Mayer and Peter Salovey in 1990. It can be defined as your ability to use your emotions intelligently and appropriately in different situations, combined with your ability to use emotions to make yourself more intelligent overall.

Emotionally intelligent people are able to accurately recognize and comprehend emotion, both in themselves and in others, to appropriately express emotion, and to be able to control their own emotion so as to facilitate their own emotional, intellectual and spiritual growth.

In short, emotionally intelligent people intentionally use their thinking and behavior to guide their emotions rather than letting their emotions dictate their thinking and behavior. People who are highly emotionally intelligent tend to also be highly emotionally resilient.

In order to become more emotionally intelligent, it is necessary to develop the following five skill domains:

*Self-awareness. Self-awareness involves your ability to recognize feelings while they are happening.

*Emotional management. Emotional management involves your ability to control the feelings you express so that they remain appropriate to a given situation. Becoming skillful at emotional management requires that you cultivate skills such as maintaining perspective, being able to calm yourself down, and being able to shake off out-of-control grumpiness, anxiety, or sadness.

*Self-motivation. Self-motivation involves your ability to keep your actions goal-directed even when distracted by emotions. Self-motivation necessarily includes being able to delay gratification, and avoid acting in impulsive ways.

*Empathy. Empathy involves your ability to notice and correctly interpret the needs and wants of other people. Empathy is the characteristic that leads to altruism, which is your willingness put the needs of others ahead of your own needs.

*Relationship Management. Relationship management involves your ability to anticipate, understand, and appropriately respond to the emotions of others. It is closely related to empathy.

These various skills work together form the basis of emotionally intelligent behavior.

People come to the challenge of emotional intelligence with different strengths and weaknesses. Where some find it easy to develop self-awareness and empathy, others have a difficult time, or don't easily recognize the need.

Luckily, emotional intelligence (likewise emotional resilience) is something that can be cultivated and developed. You have the ability to learn how to better work with emotions so as to improve your mental, physical, and social health.

In order to develop the five emotional intelligence skill domains, you'll need to become skillful at the following tasks:

Noticing Emotion

By their nature, emotions are consuming. During the moment, it is very easy to simply remain embedded inside them and not quite recognize that they are occurring. In an emotionally embedded state, it is as though you are asleep, or helpless to act differently than the emotion wants you to act. You might find yourself doing things you will later regret doing while in such a state.

As self-awareness grows, you become able to notice emotion as it is occurring. Noticing emotion allows you to step back from it, and witness it as though it were happening to someone else.

Noticing emotion separates you from that emotion, and therefore provides you with the space you need to recognize that the emotion is happening, and to form judgments as to whether your actions in response to the emotion are proper.

A self-aware person is awake and responsible rather than asleep. They are conscious of what they are feeling and can use their understanding of their emotion to change how they act.

In order to notice emotion while it is happening, you must pay attention to the following:

*Your Senses. Emotions get expressed physically and are reflected in one's body and posture. Specific behaviors like clenched fists or gritted teeth are good signals that one is probably angry, for example.
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*Your Thoughts and Beliefs. Emotions are also expressed as thoughts. It is fairly common for particular types of thoughts and beliefs to only be present when you are upset.

Your learning to notice that those emotion-linked thoughts are present in your mind becomes a clue that you are upset. For example, many people say thing to themselves like, "Things will never ever get better, ever again!", when upset, but not say this sort of thing to themselves when they are feeling okay. If you do something like this, you can learn to recognize when you are doing it, and use that knowledge to know when you are upset.
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*Your Actions. Emotions have behavioral components. Learn to recognize the way you act while upset. Noticing that you are suddenly raising your voice or starting to speak over other people might be clues that you are upset.
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*Your Triggers. Triggers are situations, people, places, feelings, thoughts or objects that get you to start thinking or feeling something you would not otherwise have thought or felt. Triggers can often start you down the road towards becoming upset without your conscious awareness. Identify your triggers by watching for the things that set you off, and then writing them down. Knowing what your triggers are helps you to anticipate them so that they don't catch you off guard. Generate a plan for handling each trigger so that it doesn't get the best of you.

*Your Motives. Think about how you believe people should conduct themselves in various different situations. For instance, ask yourself which is better behavior when speaking with one's spouse: calm discussion or screaming? Later, compare your own behavior against your list and see if you meet your own standards.

Learn to notice when you are not meeting your own emotional standard of conduct. Your noticing when you are not meeting your own standards of conduct can become a clue as to when you are upset.

BLESSED IS THIS DAY

Spiritual Wellness: Not Taking Life For Granted

Normally we begin each day like we're suppose to be alive today, we take waking up for granted, and the only time we temporarily halt this automatic 'suppose to be alive thinking' is when a love one or somebody we know dies.

The loss of life forces us to deal with the saying that the ‘changes of life and death is what happens to us while we have expectations and are making other future plans’.

Most of us whether we admit it or not expect to be here everyday – we take life for granted! Yes most people take it for granted that they will always be here and it is just another day that comes automatically.

Most people are always talking about tomorrow, living for the weekend, next month, next year, living for the next vacation, living for retirement. It seems are minds are always restless on tomorrow and not fully present today; we do more planning on tomorrow than being thankful and appreciating today.

Tomorrow is important but you have to first make it through today! One writer states: “God only gives us this day, the present is all that we have. There is no guarantee that we will have a future in time because the future is a gift not a right.”

Taking today for granted is why most of us procrastinate, putting off important things that should be done today; the only time we have is now; tomorrow is a hope, not a promise! Life is lived second by second, minute by minute, hour by hour, and day by day. When it comes to life the critical thing is whether you take things for granted or take them with gratitude.

When we stop taking life for granted we’ll start living fully each day as God-conscious servants with gratitude and humility; we’ll stop focusing so much time on our styles, egos, titles, and jobs; we’ll stop wasting time with pettiness, making excuses, postponing, pretending, gossiping, and hating.

We’ll make each day count - we’ll start counting the blessing of being alive instead of just living superficially and ungratefully to count our money, count our lottery tickets, count our houses, count our cars, count our clothes, count our shoes, count our purses, count our jewelry, and count our friends on face-book, because in the end these things don’t count, you can’t take them to the grave and you won’t be judge by them!!

When we have a sense of spiritual wellness, we realize ‘Blessed is this Day’, each day of life will be a ‘Day of Thanksgiving’, thanking the Creator for another day of life; thanking Him for giving us another day to Breathe again, to Think again, to See again, to Hear again, to Smell, again, to Taste again, to Talk again, to Feel again, to Move again, to Relate again, another day to get it Right again.

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Physical Acitivity Beneficial as we Age

According to the American College of Sports Medicine, by the year 2030 more than 70 million Americans will be 65 years of age or older, and those 85 years of age and older will be the fastest-growing age group.

Unfortunately, as more and more Americans live longer, less and less participate in the one activity that can help keep them healthy, active and productive—regular exercise.

By the time most of us reach the age of 50 or 60 we tend to accept the negative effects of aging as a fact of life that we have little or no control over.

While regular physical activity is important for people of all ages, it has been shown that the benefits of regular exercise are the most important to the people who tend to exercise the least—people over 50, and even more so, people over 60.

In fact, it's estimated that more than 90% of retirees in the United States get virtually no meaningful exercise, and that more than 50% are totally sedentary.

It is true that we can not stop the calendar from marching ahead at what seems to be a faster and faster pace, however, recent studies have shown that we can alter the rate at which our bodies progress through our life cycle.

We now have a better understanding of why some people tend to age much faster than others. There is a large body of scientific evidence that suggests that we can slow down and even reverse the symptoms of aging. In fact many of us can be in better health in our 70's than we were in our 50's.

Recent studies indicate that between the ages of 30 and 70 many of the symptoms and conditions that were traditionally associated with normal aging are in fact the result of sedentary lifestyles.

Evaluating one's strength, endurance, mobility and cardiovascular-pulmonary performance before and after a one month period of complete bed rest can be equated to 30 years of aging.

The good news is that regular exercise incorporated into our lifestyle can improve our heart and respiratory function, lower our blood pressure, increase our strength, improve bone density, improve flexibility, quicken our reaction time, reduce body fat, increase muscle mass, and reduce our susceptibility to depression & disease.

Studies have shown that regular exercise by middle aged and elderly people can set back the clock 20-40 years when compared to those who do little or no exercise. Test results show that no matter when a person starts to exercise, significant improvement can be achieved.

One of the groups tested had an average age of 90. Older people can achieve the same percentage gains in performance as the young, according to Dr. H.A. DeVries, past director of the Andrus Gerontology Center at the University of Southern California and a respected pioneer in the field.

In one study of more than 200 men & women aged 56 to 87, "dramatic changes" were observed after just 6 weeks of exercising 3 to 5 times a week. Study participants became as fit and energetic as people 20 to 30 years younger.

Dr. Everett L. Smith, director of the Bio-gerontology Laboratory at the University of Wisconsin has shown that among once sedentary women in their 50's who participated in an aerobic dance program for 6 years, fitness improved by 23% and they experienced none of the functional declines typically seen with increasing age! This group appears to have stopped the clock at an age when functional declines are usually apparent.

Dr. Smith also compared bone loss among women in their 80's. With those women that did seated exercises for 30 minutes, 3 times a week for 3 years, bone mineral actually increased by 2.29%, whereas in a similar group of inactive women, bone loss averaged 3.28%.

Various studies have shown that when our bones are taxed from exercise they grow stronger and denser and more resistant to fracture. Dr. Harris from the Center for the Study of Aging at Albany Medical College, found that when nerve cells are deprived of stimuli they atrophy, suggesting that stimulation of the central nervous system by physical activity may retard the loss of nerve cells in the brain and elsewhere.

Aerobic exercise has been shown to enhance blood flow to various parts of the brain as well as to increase the speed with which nerve messages travel through the brain.

In a study, at Purdue, among previously sedentary middle aged men who took part in a 4 month exercise & fitness program, a significant improvement was noted in the mental processes controlled by the part of the brain (left hemisphere) responsible for logical reasoning and math.

The men who exercised 3 times per week, were compared on 10 tests of mental ability to a similar group of men who remained sedentary. Another study recently published in the Annals of Internal Medicine, Older adults who exercised at least three times a week were 38 percent less likely to develop Alzheimer's disease, which causes a slow, irreversible decline in brain function. "

The decline the brain experiences late in life is not inevitable. It can be affected by things like habitual exercise," said lead study author Dr. Eric Larson of the Group Health Cooperative in Seattle. The theory is that exercise not only increases blood flow and oxygen to the brain - it may also reduce the telltale "plaque" in the brain associated with Alzheimer's disease.

Additional Benefits

Aerobic exercise helps control Type II (Late Onset) diabetes because it aids in the metabolism of sucrose. Aerobic exercise strengthens your heart, helps prevent the build up of cholesterol, improves the functioning of the liver, pancreas & most vital organs.

A recent study at the University of California that evaluated data from more than 5,000 women over the age of 65, concluded that there is scientific evidence that exercise is good for your memory. Aerobic exercise brings additional oxygen and glucose to the brain, both of which are crucial to brain function.

The body responds by forming new capillaries to bring the additional blood to nerve cells and by boosting brain chemicals that protect neurons and strengthen new neuronal connections. Exercise also promotes attention & alertness, both of which are needed to get information into your memory.

Human Growth Hormone and the lack of it is believed to contribute to the aging process. In our 50's most people stop producing HGH and the aging process accelerates as the rate of cellular reproduction, growth and repair slows.

The good news is that exercise also aids in the production of Human Growth Hormone which in turn helps us to maintain and develop our muscles, strength and stamina. Exercise is clearly the best weapon we have to combat disease, to slow down and or reverse the effects of aging.

It is no wonder that the experts in the field believe that exercise is the closest thing we have to a Fountain of Youth. Research has proven how regular exercise relates to the aging process and how it can improve your quality of life.

There are several benefits of exercise, including:

*Increased stamina and energy
*Strong bones (and lower risk of osteoporosis)
*Improved muscle tone and strength
*Increased heart and lung efficiency
*Flexible joints, tendons and ligaments, which improve agility
*Improved digestive system
*Better balance (thus helping to prevent injuries, such as falls)
*Lower blood pressure
*Improved self-esteem
*Less tension and stress
*Improved memory and alertness

In addition, regular exercise may prevent the onset of certain diseases and inhibit the effects of many chronic diseases of aging, including high blood pressure, diabetes, arthritis, and osteoporosis. Given these compelling reasons to exercise regularly, why don't more people over 50 do it?

The excuses range from feeling too old, to having a specific medical condition, to not having enough time, to feeling out of place. But the truth is that almost anyone of any age can participate in some type of physical activity, even including people with certain medical conditions.

Fortunately, beneficial results can be attained from as little as 30 minutes of exercise three to four times per week or 15-20 minutes of light physical activity (like housecleaning, gardening, slow walking) each day. Also encouraging for the 50+ crowd is that many gyms, health clubs, swim clubs, walking clubs, YMCA's and senior centers are offering more exercise programs geared toward their age group.

Get a Checkup First

"Before starting any exercise program, anyone regardless of age should have a thorough physical and get the go-ahead from his physician," says Dr. Jacques Carter, MD, MPH, of Boston's Beth Israel/Deaconess Medical Center.

Carter also notes that if you have a specific medical condition or conditions, your physician will want to make recommendations about what exercise program will be most suitable for you, set any necessary limitations on that program, and monitor your progress.

Do a Variety of Activities

Once you get the medical go-ahead, trainers and exercise physiologists suggest that you follow a three-pronged exercise program, including the following:

Aerobic Exercise

Probably the most important part of a regular exercise program, aerobic exercise is anything that causes an increase in the overall activity of your cardiovascular system (heart and lungs) for a sustained period. Over time, aerobic activity conditions your body in general, and your heart and lungs in particular, to be able to perform a greater amount of work with less effort.

Although even minimal increases in aerobic activity can be beneficial, your goal should be at least 20 (and preferably 30 or more) minutes of sustained aerobic activity three to five times per week.

Factor in the following two elements: First, find an aerobic activity you enjoy, because if you don't like it, you won't stick with it. Second, try and find an aerobic activity that is low impact (that is, it won't take a toll on your joints), such as brisk walking, biking, swimming, and low-impact aerobics classes.

Strengthening Exercises

In addition to toning your body and making all movement less strenuous and energy consuming, muscle strengthening and conditioning will help support your joints, thus preventing arthritic problems and reducing the chance of injuries caused by falls.

Muscle strengthening can be accomplished by using either weight machines or free weights. You don't need to use much weight to see results, because studies show that excellent health benefits can be achieved (even for people in their 70s and 80s) through regular regimens of even very light weight-lifting (3-10 pounds).

Muscle strengthening also has one "hidden" beneficial effect: While aerobic exercise burns calories while you exercise, weight training causes the body to burn calories 24 hours a day, even when you're at rest, because the body expends more energy to maintain muscle mass than to maintain fat mass—as much as 40 calories more per day per pound of muscle.

And, while 40 calories per day may not seem like much, it does make a difference. Suppose you do serious weight lifting and add five pounds of muscle to your body. At that point, your body would automatically burn up to an additional 200 calories per day. Over a year, this is the equivalent of 72,800 calories, which equals a weight loss of 20 pounds per year!

Flexibility (Stretching) Exercises

Stretching exercises serve a number of purposes, including maintaining full motion in your joints, keeping muscles from shortening and tightening, preventing or lessening the effects of arthritis, and preventing injuries by increasing agility and mobility.

A physical trainer or exercise physiologist can help you design a good 10- to 15-minute stretching/flexibility regimen that you can do every day, as well as before and after your aerobic and/or strengthening exercises.