by Zorka Hereford
Whether we like it or not, adversity is part of life. Overcoming adversity is one of the biggest hurdles we face. As Havelock Ellis wrote, "Pain and death are part of life. To reject them is to reject life itself."
Problems, large and small, present themselves to us throughout our whole existence. Regardless of how sharp, clever, or happy-go-lucky we are, we will encounter struggle, challenges, difficulties and at times, heart wrenching moments.
Is this meant to be a negative, cynical assessment of what we have to look forward to? Not at all! In fact, thank goodness for adversity! Learning to deal with, and overcoming adversity, is what makes us who we are.
Every challenge, every difficulty we successfully confront in life serves to strengthen our will, confidence and ability to conquer future obstacles. Herodotus, the Greek philosopher, said, "Adversity has the effect of drawing out strength and qualities of a man that would have lain dormant in its absence."
When you respond positively and constructively to your biggest challenges, the qualities of strength, courage, character and perseverance emerge from deep inside of you.
Of course, since we are human, it is very easy to get caught up in the self pity, unfairness of life, or 'why me?' trap. When we do, we fail to recognize the opportunities for wisdom and growth that accompany adversity. However, as soon we allow ourselves to think more clearly, we are able to let go of self-defeating and unproductive thoughts and get down to the business of dealing with what's before us.
Tips For Overcoming Adversity
1. Be aware of, and accept that adversity is inevitable in life.
As has already been pointed out, adversity is part of life. To avoid or resist it will only make it persist. Everywhere you look in the world there is unmistakable struggle. There are floods, tsunamis, wars, and calamities of all types. Even within your own circle of family and friends there is death, loss and tragedy. Although pain is inevitable, suffering is optional. So what do you do?
2. Build your internal resources. Before adversity hits, work on cultivating emotional strength, courage and discipline. When you make yourself aware that certain difficulties are inevitable, you can prepare yourself mentally for confronting adversity head-on. It would be no different than a warrior going to battle. He (or she) prepares himself physically and mentally for any possibility. He knows it could be ugly, daunting, and grueling, but he is equipped. More often than not, when you're prepared for the worst, the worst never happens, or it's much less severe than anticipated. Another invaluable inner resource is faith. Faith that everything will work out; faith that there is always light at the end of the tunnel, and faith that "this too shall pass." Everything in life has its place and purpose.
3. Build your external resources. Build a support system of family and friends. When the going gets tough, we all need encouragement and support. We need someone to talk to; someone to help ease the burden. You would be surprised to discover how often a friend has had a similar experience and can help guide you through the difficult time. Even just knowing a friend is there when you need them can be most comforting.
4. That which does not kill you doesn't always make you stronger. Sorry Nietzsche! While I agree with Nietzsche, in principle, that what does not kill you will make you stronger, I do not necessarily agree with him in practice. For instance, if you do not have enough built-up resilience or experience in dealing with difficulty, adversity can crush you. On the other hand, if do you have sufficient resilience, then indeed it will make you stronger. How so, you ask? Resilience like any muscle is built up gradually and exponentially with repeated exposure to obstacles. If you lack practice in confronting obstacles (as when you choose to avoid them), one traumatic event can take you down. To underscore this point, developmental research has shown that traumatized children are more, rather than less, likely to be traumatized again. Likewise, those who grow up in tough neighborhoods become weaker, not stronger, and are more likely to struggle in life.
5. Take inspiration and learn from others who have dealt successfully with adversity. There are many inspiring stories of people who overcame seemingly insurmountable odds. They triumphed over their adversities to live successful, productive lives instead of surrendering to it.
Adversity Points to Consider
*The difficult times in life help us appreciate when things are going smoothly.
*Look for the learning opportunities in every adverse situation.
*Decide whether you will allow your experience to make, or break you. Depending upon how you choose to perceive it, it could go either way.
*Be prepared to accept the worst, should it occur. When you have prepared yourself mentally for the worst, it rarely ever happens, and if it does, it seems less so because you are better equipped to handle it.
*Cultivate faith, courage and resilience. The more of these qualities you arm yourself with, the lesser the impact of the adversity.
*Remind yourself that adversity is part of life. To Accept adversity, helps you overcome it.
Overcoming adversity is one of our main challenges in life. When we resolve to confront and overcome it, we become expert at dealing with it and consequently triumph over our day-to-day struggles.